An instant gut reaction to Harry Redknapp's return to Bournemouth

Redknapp during his time as AFC Bournemouth
manager, many moons ago

Oh my. The most successful manager in Bournemouth's history is back at the club, in a voluntary, "advisory" role. According to the board he will assist the current managerial team and offer advice on any footballing matters.

The news has instantly gone global, with "Bournemouth" currently trending on Twitter. And, unsurprisingly, most of the people I follow on Twitter are assuming that this spells bad news for Bournemouth in the long term.

Are AFC Bournemouth - a club suddenly apparently blessed with a chunk of money for the first time in their unremarkable history - about to "do a Portsmouth"? By which I mean a brief and giddy period of unprecedented success and rampant spending swiftly followed by abject doom, poverty and quite possibly liquidation. Jumping the gun a bit? Quite possibly. But that's the instant worry I get in my gut - I obviously hope it proves to be an overreaction.

Or maybe everyone is jumping to conclusions? Redknapp lives at Sandbanks, which is only a few miles from Bournemouth. He likes a simple life away from football, choosing one or two favourite restaurants or a walk on the beach with his dogs over the normal trappings that someone of his status and wealth might enjoy. It might be that he's a bit bored kicking around the house and just wants to help a club that he has had an association with for several decades.

Alas, it probably won't turn out that way. Results have not been good so far this season and manager Paul Groves is already under pressure. Redknapp has worked with Groves previously and rates him - which helps - but if Bournemouth's iffy form continues and Groves gets sacked... it's a fairly obvious script from that point forward.

And if that happens - if Harry becomes manager of Bournemouth again - fans will have a quandary on their hands. There will, in all likelihood, be success and attractive football under Redknapp. We'd probably get promoted. But then what?

It's incredibly early for speculation such as this, but these are the sort of daydreams (or nightmares, depending on the individual) that will be going on in fans' heads this evening, so let's not kid ourselves any different.

As a Bournemouth fan, I want to enjoy any success the club has with intense pleasure. When we win a match, a league or whatever, I want that feeling to be glorious. I've not tasted that feeling very often in my 24 years as a Bournemouth supporter, and I don't want any glory to be tempered by a more-than-reasonable worry of what might be around the corner.

If Bournemouth are about to enter a successful period in their history (that's assuming this doesn't all go wrong sooner rather than later) then it is down to the club to convincingly persuade supporters that the long-term future of the club is assured. A wealthy benefactor is not going to bankroll us for ever, and will surely want to see a return on their investment. The club really needs to urge Maxim Demin to talk about his interest in the club and what he wants to get out of it.

Until we know more about him, why he chose to invest in us and what his long-term aims are, any enjoyment we take from milestone moments such as Redknapp's return will be considerably affected by the nagging fear that this will not end well.

We hope it will end well - we've almost lost this club on more occasions than we'd care to recall - but that worry will always be there while there are so many legitimate question marks about the way the club is run/owned.

One thing that is worth noting, though, is that, while Harry always seemed to be in it for himself at Portsmouth (and at Southampton and Tottenham, for that matter), there are two clubs that he has a genuine passion for and would presumably not want blood on his hands were anything bad to happen to them - Bournemouth and West Ham.

Speaking of which, this blog is going to look pretty silly in a month or two when Redknapp is West Ham manager and is hanging out of a car window talking about how much he can't wait to get into the Olympic Stadium isn't it...

Money plays havoc with a football fan's mojo. We want to win and enjoy winning, but even more importantly we want our children and grandchildren to have the opportunity to watch our club win when we're long gone.

I was hoping that writing this blog might crystallise what I'm feeling this evening. But I'm not sure it has. Redknapp coming back to Bournemouth ought to provoke a thousand happy memories of my childhood, watching his excellent Cherries side from Dean Court's F Block with my dad. Instead, while a glimmer of excitement is certainly there, the worries are significant. For now at least.

Phew, time for a pint...

Revealed: How Martin O'Neill signed Adam Johnson for Sunderland

"Oh, I love it when I get the ball here, Gaffer!
Guess what I'm gonna do with it now?"

Thanks to NarrowTheAngle's web of fly-on-the-wall 'mole-droids' around the country, we were able to listen in and spy on the negotiations between Sunderland manager Martin O'Neill and winger Adam Johnson in the run-up to the latter signing for the Black Cats. Here is the transcript of their conversation.

(There is a knock at the office door)
Martin O'Neill: Come in! Ah, hello there Johnson. Good to see you, son. Have a seat.
(Johnson is clearly distressed, and tugs at the label on his t-shirt as he quickly sits down)
Adam Johnson: (sniffing) All I w... w... want to do is cut in from the wing and have a shot, Mr O'Neill. A low shot, hit hard into the bottom corner of the net. I'm really good at it but Mr Mancini keeps on not letting me play.
MON: I understand, son. To be fair I do remember watching you on my tellybox a couple of years back. Saw you score a couple of great goals where, if memory serves, you cut...
AJ: (interrupting and suddenly cheering up) Yeah, cut inside and scored with a low shot! GOAL! That's my favourite and my bestest thing to do. I really, really love doing that.
MON: Great, well we could do with a bit of your incisive wing play here at Sunderland, especially during the first half of games. Generally we like to have the lad Cattermole sent off around the 55-minute mark, so it would be lovely if we could be going into the ten-man phase of our games with the cushion of a lead from time to time.
AJ: (doing puppy dog eyes) Well... I could help you with that.
MON: Good, well, I must say I'm pretty tempted. What would you say are your main strengths?
AJ: (defiantly) I really, really love to cut inside and....
MON: Yes, cut inside and have a low shot, I think you mentioned that. But what else?
AJ: Well - and this is the clever bit - sometimes I shoot to the near post, but then on other occasions I shoot to the far post. Good, eh?
MON: Well, err, yes. That's lovely. But what else do you do to bring some variety into your game?
AJ: What do you mean?
MON: Well, you can't always do the same trick of cutting inside with a feint and then shooting low. How else do you like to mix things up?
AJ: (looks blank for ages)
MON: Come now, Johnson, surely you don't do the same thing every time? What about getting to the byline and standing up a cross for one of our strikers? We've got the lad Fletcher from Wolves now. He's pretty good with his head.
AJ: (sulkily) I don't really like doing that.
MON: Or maybe you could play a simple pass to a teammate before you've cut inside?
AJ: What? Shut up, I hate that! HATE IT!
MON: Well, ok, how about if, sometimes, once you've cut inside, you hit your shot high into a top corner? That would at least be a bit different.
AJ: No! I don't want to do that! I told you, I just want to cut inside and shoot low.
MON: To be honest then, Johnson, I'm not sure we have a deal. I might not be the most tactically adventurous of managers but I can't have a guy in my team who only does one thing.
AJ: What if I say I'll play for just 50k pocket money per week? That's loads less than the pocket money Mr Mancini gave me.
MON: Only 50k a week? Well, Johnson! Why didn't you say so before?! I assumed we'd be talking big money, but 50k a week is an absolute snip for your services. I used to pay Reo-Coker that much just to sit on the bench at Villa. And that was if he was lucky. Whereas with you I'll have some pace down the flank and a player that can...
Both in unison: ...cut inside and shoot!
(There is laughter all round. For a disturbingly long period of time. Until both men forget what they were laughing at and stare coldly at their shoes.)

Afterword
Adam Johnson signed for Sunderland, where he would often cut inside and shot low, sometimes to the near post and sometimes to the far. You literally never knew which side he would put it. He was that good. However, Martin O'Neill eventually became tired of the player's insistence on cutting inside to shoot, not to mention his refusal to pass the ball to a teammate, and instead preferred to leave Johnson on the substitutes bench. But since he was only on 50k a week that wasn't a big problem really.

AFC Bournemouth's Top Five Number 9s

Ted MacDougall

To celebrate the start of Prostate Cancer UK’s Football League charity partnership, here is an article I've written after the charity asked fans from each of the 72 Football League clubs to count down their top five strikers to have worn the No9 shirt. This is in recognition of the fact that prostate cancer will affect one in nine men.

If players never wore No9, they weren't allowed in, so no Jermain Defoe, Luther Blissett, etc in my Top 5. You can check who made the Top 5 for your favourite club here.

Please feel free to plug my article or any of the others through social media channels or anywhere you like. It will make a fantastic difference to a charity that is doing very important work to combat this depressingly common form of cancer.

On Twitter, it would be great if you could use the hashtag #bestno9s and/or mention that the piece was written “on behalf of @prostateuk”. Cheers!

AFC Bournemouth's Top Five Number 9s

2012/13: The worst League One in years?

League One does not look a strong division on paper ahead of the new season. Perfect timing then for an outsider to put together a promotion charge...

With Charlton, Sheff Wed and Huddersfield promoted last season, League
One looks unusually weak as teams prepare to go again in 2012/13

Cast your eyes down the League One table for 2012/13. Then, once you've finished yawning, pick your two teams to get automatic promotion.

Congratulations on immediately selecting Sheffield United before, thinking yourself slightly shrewd, opting for MK Dons as your second pick. We've all got those two as well. Still, give yourself a pat on the back.

Now the hard bit: pick your four teams for the play-offs.

This is you: "Hmm.... errr.... ooh, bit tricky.... crumbs.... can I get back to you?"

This year's League One looks like depressingly humdrum fare on paper. In most other seasons, relegated sides in dire financial straits like Portsmouth and Coventry would be settling for consolidating in mid-table, content to avoid the dreaded back-to-back relegations. Yet among such an average crop, they might actually fancy their chances. Although having just read this about Portsmouth's plight, perhaps not.

Most of the famous names that have slipped into this league in recent times have now managed to haul themselves out again. In a division that increasingly looks like a gathering place for the country's most tedious teams to wallow in their inoffensively low-key mediocrity, if ever there was a season for surprise packages this is surely it.

Carlisle looked to be quietly building something last season, and probably didn't get the credit they deserved for almost making the play-offs. Likewise Stevenage kicked on from their excellent run in recent seasons, only narrowly missing out on a date at Wembley as Sheffield United managed to nudge them aside in the play-off semis. Both sides will hope to go a step further this season. Heck, they'll never have a better chance.

There are also great heaped tablespoonfuls of pressure on Preston and Bournemouth to have strong seasons. Both are ambitious and itching to get promotion, but we know from laughing at watching MK Dons in recent years that this doesn't necessarily equate to consistent results on the pitch.

Preston manager Graham Westley, known for his eccentric methods and gruelling marine-like training regime, doesn't seem to be endearing himself to Preston's squad, recently informing a whopping eight players by text message that they needn't bother turning up for pre-season training. One of the eight was Iain Hume, considered not only one of Preston's best players but one of the best in the division. Westley does things his way and it either works or it doesn't, but it wouldn't be a huge surprise to see the Preston board's trigger finger twitching if they start the season poorly.

Could Swindon be a surprise package
and win back-to-back promotions?

Bournemouth meanwhile were very much the comic relief/car crash side of the division last year, with various incidents involving club chairman Eddie Mitchell and other board members (or, in one case, their spouse) causing some considerable embarrassment and distraction for the playing staff and fans. This close season has seen Bournemouth make a couple of intriguing signings, such as Rotherham's Lewis Grabban, who starred in League Two last year, and Eredivisie striker Frank Demouge, who joins the club from FC Utrecht. Bournemouth have also made several additions to their backroom team, including Dennis Rofe as first-team coach and former Torquay and Northampton midfielder Chris Hargreaves (author of Where's Your Caravan?) as development coach.

The Bournemouth board are determined to win promotion this year, with Mitchell rarely one to shy away from a bold statement. In any other season you'd put him saying "I want the club to win the league and that's the main aim" down to naivety, but with League One so lacklustre on paper perhaps that is a genuinely achievable ambition. Much like Preston though, don't be overly surprised if an early-season managerial change disrupts Bournemouth to such an extent that they start planning for 2013/14 season earlier than most.

Anyone else? Notts County quietly went about their business in finishing seventh last term. They could be dark horses again. And what of promoted Crawley and Swindon? Under the thoughtful stewardship of Sean O'Driscoll, Crawley will play nice football and could challenge provided there's still some mysterious money left in the mysterious money pot. And who would bet against Swindon carrying on as they left off last season, as manager Paolo di Canio continues to inspire and impress in equal measure.

There appears to be a great heaving mass of teams that seem unlikely to get promoted but are perhaps too good to go down: Brentford, Bury, Colchester, Doncaster, Hartlepool, Leyton Orient, Oldham, Scunthorpe. Most of these sides will expect to snuggle up to the cosy embrace of mid-table security. Yet while relegation is probably as likely as promotion for most of them, if ever there was a season to throw the kitchen sink at a promotion push, this is it. Brentford would seem most likely to surprise as Uwe Rosler continues his steady progress there. They seemed a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde team last season, but if they can find some consistency then anything is possible.

If we get one or two surprise packages in League One this season, it could be all the more exciting for the lack of big names in the division. However, if those surprise packages fail to emerge, it could easily become brain-meltingly tedious.

FSF need Premier League and Championship fans help with policing and stewarding survey

Photo: 'Ingy The Wingy', Flickr

Amanda Jacks is a case worker at the Football Supporters Federation (FSF). She's been in touch to ask if Narrow The Angle could help promote a survey they're running into policing and stewarding ahead of the new football season. Here's Amanda...

"The results of this survey will help us get a better overview of the opinions of supporters and also help us in deciding where to focus our efforts next season.

An assistant chief constable of West Midlands Police has already tweeted that he’d like the results to help them improve policing next season and of course the results will be circulated to all and sundry within the footballing world and we hope to encourage meetings to discuss them further.

So far I’m only doing Premier League and Championship clubs but will survey the remaining leagues early next season."

So folks, if you support a team in the top two English tiers and are happy to help, the links are below:

Premier League survey
Championship survey

You can also follow Amanda on Twitter here.

Italy XI to face England (in anagram form).

I like anagrams. I especially like footballing anagrams. With that in mind, I've taken my anagrammatic eye to Italy's Euro 2012 squad (not including the injured Chiellini, that would be cheating) and come up with a fully functional starting XI.

Rod Airplane could help Italy soar against England

Italy XI to face England at Euro 2012 (4-5-1 formation):

1. Denoting Sarcasm (Morgan de Sanctis, GK)
2. Haggis Mortician (Christian Maggio, RB)
3. A Chemical Urine Genie (Emanuele Giaccherini, LB)
4. Rod Airplane (Andrea Pirlo, DM)
5. Angel On A Bongo (Angelo Ogbonna, CB)
6. Caboodle Unicorn (Leonardo Bonucci, CB)
7. Aniseed Soldier (Daniele De Rossi, RM)
8. Ornate Onion Icon (Antonio Nocerino, CM)
9. Alien Toad Nation (Antonio Di Natale, FC)
10. A Malicious Orchid (Claudio Marchisio, CM)  
11. Nationalised Dramas (Alessandro Diamanti, LM)

Reckon that team could take England? Quite possibly.

As you can see, anagrams are no respecter of reputations, so the likes of Buffon, Cassano and Balotelli are brutally cast aside. I was particularly disappointed not to come up with an anagram for Mario Balotelli. If you can think of a good one, let me know.

All hail the Alien Toad Nation

Nostalgic football geekery: it's The Football Attic's League Of Blogs wallchart!

Home kit, impeccably drawn in Photoshop by me. I'm very talented...

I was a little late in hearing about one of my favourite football blogging ideas of the season – so apologies if this is old news to some of you – but I absolutely love this homage to Subbuteo from The Football Attic.

Their new 'League of Blogs' wallchart features kits lovingly designed by some of the geekiest most dedicated football bloggers in cyberspace. Click here [LINK] to visit the League of Blogs. You'll need to:

• click the image to enlarge it, and then...
• ...click View Image to see it in its full size

I'm chuffed to say that I am now among their number, as my two kits were added yesterday. My kits are at No67 and No68. But as a special treat (since you neither asked nor particularly care), I've put the original versions of both my kits here for you to ignore... laugh at... enjoy.

My home kit pinches from the colours of the two teams I support, Bournemouth and Wimbledon. A grotesque combination, perhaps, but memorable nonetheless.

The away kit, sure to be a hit with colourblind fans, features some little half moons at the base of the shorts, which is my tribute to one of the coolest kits of my childhood – this one, worn by Gazza for Spurs in the early 1990s. 

Naturally, both my kits are sponsored by the classic 1990s Amiga football game Sensible World of Soccer, since we're so categorically going down Retro Street in this exercise. And my kit manufacturer of choice is Spall, maker of some legendary kits and some rather fetching, less-famous ones too, not to mention half the kits on show at Hackney Marshes most Sundays.

As for the rest of the designs on the poster, I think my personal favourite has to be the enjoyably quirky effort from Marceltipool (No43 on the chart), who have opted for a nutty all-white number with red-hooped socks and a solitary green-hooped sleeve. I'm a sucker for an asymmetrical kit.

Applause in the general direction of The Football Attic for their efforts in putting this together. I highly recommend you follow them on Twitter here @FootballAttic, where they'll give you plenty more memorable nuggets of retro football heaven.

Away kit, complete with non-matching 'half moons' on the shorts. Hooray!