2012/13: The worst League One in years?

League One does not look a strong division on paper ahead of the new season. Perfect timing then for an outsider to put together a promotion charge...

With Charlton, Sheff Wed and Huddersfield promoted last season, League
One looks unusually weak as teams prepare to go again in 2012/13

Cast your eyes down the League One table for 2012/13. Then, once you've finished yawning, pick your two teams to get automatic promotion.

Congratulations on immediately selecting Sheffield United before, thinking yourself slightly shrewd, opting for MK Dons as your second pick. We've all got those two as well. Still, give yourself a pat on the back.

Now the hard bit: pick your four teams for the play-offs.

This is you: "Hmm.... errr.... ooh, bit tricky.... crumbs.... can I get back to you?"

This year's League One looks like depressingly humdrum fare on paper. In most other seasons, relegated sides in dire financial straits like Portsmouth and Coventry would be settling for consolidating in mid-table, content to avoid the dreaded back-to-back relegations. Yet among such an average crop, they might actually fancy their chances. Although having just read this about Portsmouth's plight, perhaps not.

Most of the famous names that have slipped into this league in recent times have now managed to haul themselves out again. In a division that increasingly looks like a gathering place for the country's most tedious teams to wallow in their inoffensively low-key mediocrity, if ever there was a season for surprise packages this is surely it.

Carlisle looked to be quietly building something last season, and probably didn't get the credit they deserved for almost making the play-offs. Likewise Stevenage kicked on from their excellent run in recent seasons, only narrowly missing out on a date at Wembley as Sheffield United managed to nudge them aside in the play-off semis. Both sides will hope to go a step further this season. Heck, they'll never have a better chance.

There are also great heaped tablespoonfuls of pressure on Preston and Bournemouth to have strong seasons. Both are ambitious and itching to get promotion, but we know from laughing at watching MK Dons in recent years that this doesn't necessarily equate to consistent results on the pitch.

Preston manager Graham Westley, known for his eccentric methods and gruelling marine-like training regime, doesn't seem to be endearing himself to Preston's squad, recently informing a whopping eight players by text message that they needn't bother turning up for pre-season training. One of the eight was Iain Hume, considered not only one of Preston's best players but one of the best in the division. Westley does things his way and it either works or it doesn't, but it wouldn't be a huge surprise to see the Preston board's trigger finger twitching if they start the season poorly.

Could Swindon be a surprise package
and win back-to-back promotions?

Bournemouth meanwhile were very much the comic relief/car crash side of the division last year, with various incidents involving club chairman Eddie Mitchell and other board members (or, in one case, their spouse) causing some considerable embarrassment and distraction for the playing staff and fans. This close season has seen Bournemouth make a couple of intriguing signings, such as Rotherham's Lewis Grabban, who starred in League Two last year, and Eredivisie striker Frank Demouge, who joins the club from FC Utrecht. Bournemouth have also made several additions to their backroom team, including Dennis Rofe as first-team coach and former Torquay and Northampton midfielder Chris Hargreaves (author of Where's Your Caravan?) as development coach.

The Bournemouth board are determined to win promotion this year, with Mitchell rarely one to shy away from a bold statement. In any other season you'd put him saying "I want the club to win the league and that's the main aim" down to naivety, but with League One so lacklustre on paper perhaps that is a genuinely achievable ambition. Much like Preston though, don't be overly surprised if an early-season managerial change disrupts Bournemouth to such an extent that they start planning for 2013/14 season earlier than most.

Anyone else? Notts County quietly went about their business in finishing seventh last term. They could be dark horses again. And what of promoted Crawley and Swindon? Under the thoughtful stewardship of Sean O'Driscoll, Crawley will play nice football and could challenge provided there's still some mysterious money left in the mysterious money pot. And who would bet against Swindon carrying on as they left off last season, as manager Paolo di Canio continues to inspire and impress in equal measure.

There appears to be a great heaving mass of teams that seem unlikely to get promoted but are perhaps too good to go down: Brentford, Bury, Colchester, Doncaster, Hartlepool, Leyton Orient, Oldham, Scunthorpe. Most of these sides will expect to snuggle up to the cosy embrace of mid-table security. Yet while relegation is probably as likely as promotion for most of them, if ever there was a season to throw the kitchen sink at a promotion push, this is it. Brentford would seem most likely to surprise as Uwe Rosler continues his steady progress there. They seemed a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde team last season, but if they can find some consistency then anything is possible.

If we get one or two surprise packages in League One this season, it could be all the more exciting for the lack of big names in the division. However, if those surprise packages fail to emerge, it could easily become brain-meltingly tedious.

FSF need Premier League and Championship fans help with policing and stewarding survey

Photo: 'Ingy The Wingy', Flickr

Amanda Jacks is a case worker at the Football Supporters Federation (FSF). She's been in touch to ask if Narrow The Angle could help promote a survey they're running into policing and stewarding ahead of the new football season. Here's Amanda...

"The results of this survey will help us get a better overview of the opinions of supporters and also help us in deciding where to focus our efforts next season.

An assistant chief constable of West Midlands Police has already tweeted that he’d like the results to help them improve policing next season and of course the results will be circulated to all and sundry within the footballing world and we hope to encourage meetings to discuss them further.

So far I’m only doing Premier League and Championship clubs but will survey the remaining leagues early next season."

So folks, if you support a team in the top two English tiers and are happy to help, the links are below:

Premier League survey
Championship survey

You can also follow Amanda on Twitter here.

Italy XI to face England (in anagram form).

I like anagrams. I especially like footballing anagrams. With that in mind, I've taken my anagrammatic eye to Italy's Euro 2012 squad (not including the injured Chiellini, that would be cheating) and come up with a fully functional starting XI.

Rod Airplane could help Italy soar against England

Italy XI to face England at Euro 2012 (4-5-1 formation):

1. Denoting Sarcasm (Morgan de Sanctis, GK)
2. Haggis Mortician (Christian Maggio, RB)
3. A Chemical Urine Genie (Emanuele Giaccherini, LB)
4. Rod Airplane (Andrea Pirlo, DM)
5. Angel On A Bongo (Angelo Ogbonna, CB)
6. Caboodle Unicorn (Leonardo Bonucci, CB)
7. Aniseed Soldier (Daniele De Rossi, RM)
8. Ornate Onion Icon (Antonio Nocerino, CM)
9. Alien Toad Nation (Antonio Di Natale, FC)
10. A Malicious Orchid (Claudio Marchisio, CM)  
11. Nationalised Dramas (Alessandro Diamanti, LM)

Reckon that team could take England? Quite possibly.

As you can see, anagrams are no respecter of reputations, so the likes of Buffon, Cassano and Balotelli are brutally cast aside. I was particularly disappointed not to come up with an anagram for Mario Balotelli. If you can think of a good one, let me know.

All hail the Alien Toad Nation

Nostalgic football geekery: it's The Football Attic's League Of Blogs wallchart!

Home kit, impeccably drawn in Photoshop by me. I'm very talented...

I was a little late in hearing about one of my favourite football blogging ideas of the season – so apologies if this is old news to some of you – but I absolutely love this homage to Subbuteo from The Football Attic.

Their new 'League of Blogs' wallchart features kits lovingly designed by some of the geekiest most dedicated football bloggers in cyberspace. Click here [LINK] to visit the League of Blogs. You'll need to:

• click the image to enlarge it, and then...
• ...click View Image to see it in its full size

I'm chuffed to say that I am now among their number, as my two kits were added yesterday. My kits are at No67 and No68. But as a special treat (since you neither asked nor particularly care), I've put the original versions of both my kits here for you to ignore... laugh at... enjoy.

My home kit pinches from the colours of the two teams I support, Bournemouth and Wimbledon. A grotesque combination, perhaps, but memorable nonetheless.

The away kit, sure to be a hit with colourblind fans, features some little half moons at the base of the shorts, which is my tribute to one of the coolest kits of my childhood – this one, worn by Gazza for Spurs in the early 1990s. 

Naturally, both my kits are sponsored by the classic 1990s Amiga football game Sensible World of Soccer, since we're so categorically going down Retro Street in this exercise. And my kit manufacturer of choice is Spall, maker of some legendary kits and some rather fetching, less-famous ones too, not to mention half the kits on show at Hackney Marshes most Sundays.

As for the rest of the designs on the poster, I think my personal favourite has to be the enjoyably quirky effort from Marceltipool (No43 on the chart), who have opted for a nutty all-white number with red-hooped socks and a solitary green-hooped sleeve. I'm a sucker for an asymmetrical kit.

Applause in the general direction of The Football Attic for their efforts in putting this together. I highly recommend you follow them on Twitter here @FootballAttic, where they'll give you plenty more memorable nuggets of retro football heaven.

Away kit, complete with non-matching 'half moons' on the shorts. Hooray!

An interesting infographic (if that's not an oxymoron) about Euro 2012

Euro 2012: it's going to be way
better than the rather creepy
logo would have you believe.

A chap I don't know called 'Jonas' from a gambling affiliate site emailed me about this Euro 2012 infographic that he and his affiliate buddies have made (see below).

Ninety-nine times out of a hundred I roll my eyes when I get something like this, but at least Jonas's email was courteous and didn't start with some ludicrous opening gambit like "Hey, how are you today? Hope you're having a great day!" In fact, he only used one cliché in his entire email, which was mildly refreshing.

So since his email was alright, I gave it the time of day and actually read it [spammers note, I will still delete most of your nonsense without reading it, so don't get your hopes up].

It turns out that his infographic is reasonably interesting for those of us planning to have a few bets during this summer's tournament.

Obviously, like all infographics these days, it's hoping to sell or get you to do something. In this case, it's hoping to drive traffic to Jonas's website. But that's obviously optional. If you want to just look at the infographic, indulge in its pretty patterns and statistics, and then click it away - as indeed I did - then fill your boots.

I can't vouch for the quality of Jonas's website because I haven't had more than a cursory glance at it. It's an affiliate site, so you know what you're going to get. Lots of links to deposit with bookmakers, and if you deposit then the affiliate website gets a cut. That's how these things work. If you're lucky then you get some decent content too, but I'm unable to comment on the quality of the content on Jonas's site because I haven't read it. Notice I'm not giving it a name-check, lest I get emails from people saying "I think you have a vested interest in that site!" I don't. I'm not really a fan of affiliate websites because for every good one there are several dozen crap ones.

But taking the infographic on its merits as a standalone thing, it's pretty good as a punter's tool ahead of the tournament. You're safe to click it to enlarge it to full size, though I should note that the text link below it is theirs not mine, and takes you to their site.

  
  

Provided courtesy of the Euro Betting Weblog

An assessment of AFC Wimbledon's first season back in the Football League

It's been a topsy-turvy season for AFC Wimbledon so far. As a season ticket holder standing behind the dugouts, I've seen first-hand the stresses and strains that the coaching staff and players have been through. It was never supposed to be this hard.

One of my favourite football websites, the dedicated Football League site Two Unfortunates, asked me if I'd write them a piece looking at how Wimbledon have fared in League Two this season - and what they perhaps need to do differently if they're to fare better next term.

http://thetwounfortunates.com/pausing-for-thought-at-wimbledon/

As someone who only got into watching Wimbledon towards the end of their non-league journey, I am hopefully well-placed to assess the 2011/12 campaign through relatively unbiased eyes. 

Please click the link above to read my piece for The Two Unfortunates. If you have any comments, I'd be grateful if you could leave them at the bottom of the article rather than under this little plug. Cheers.

The missing paragraphs from Crawley Town's report of the game with Bradford City

The Bradford and Crawley captains at full-time yesterday

Yesterday evening, everyone's favourite footballing gentlefolk Crawley Town journeyed up to Bradford City for a league encounter at the Coral Windows Sta... oh, whatever, it's Valley Parade isn't it.

The game was a keenly contested affair to say the least, with seven players booked (six of them Crawley players). However, it was post-match that things got really lively, with a brawl breaking out on the pitch and several proper punches thrown, as opposed to the usual handbags and posturing.

And so it is with some degree of surprise that the match report on Crawley's official website gives no mention of the trouble at the game, choosing to go full-on propaganda and paint a picture of a game that passed without incident as Crawley bagged a well-earned away victory.

While it wouldn't be that surprising for a club as consistently lacking in class as Crawley Town to gloss over the brawl (and nobody's saying Bradford players weren't just as culpable, if not more so), for them to not even mention the post-match trouble in their report is bordering on farcical. Referee Ian Williamson had to send off five players (three Bradford, two Crawley) in the dressing rooms once calm had been restored. That's not just a talking point, that's the talking point. Even Crawley can't have deliberately intended such an oversight, can they? Surely not.

Well, NarrowTheAngle.com can now exclusively reveal that the last few paragraphs were accidentally lopped off the bottom of the report by a cack-handed work experience kid called Wilf. Crawley club secretary Barry Stalin has just emailed us over the remaining portion of the text. It is posted verbatim below. Hope this clears things up.

"With victory in the bag, all that remained was for the victorious Crawley Town heroes to commiserate their gallant opponents with the customary ritual of strong handshakes, slaps on the back and shouts of 'jolly good show, old chaps!'

Regrettably, Crawley's Claude Davis fractionally mistimed his offer of a handshake to Bradford's Luke Oliver; this minor miscalculation causing him to accidentally brutally elbow him in the face.

As Davis sought to apologise to the unfortunate Oliver, his opponent slipped horribly on a discarded piece of orange peel, causing him to place himself violently in the direct vicinity of Davis's face. Oliver's lively body language was said to be caused by a chronic allergic reaction to traces of citric acid in the orange peel.

Teammates of both men rushed to the players' aid. Bradford goalkeeper Jon McLaughlin and Crawley's Pablo Mills both stooped in an attempt to remove the offending piece of peel, when unfortunately their heads abruptly collided, which to some onlookers may have appeared as if they had been involved in some form of mild disagreement. Crawley Town is happy to set the record straight on this matter.

The referee spoke to the players in the dressing rooms afterwards, when he conceded that the unsightly hubbub was all a big misunderstanding and suggested the teams head forthwith to a nearby public house for a pint of mild and a game of bar billiards.

Once the players had reconvened at the nearby Honest Politician pub, Bradford's Andrew Davies complimented Crawley manager Steve Evans on the sportsmanship and restraint he instills in his players. Evans, in return, commended Davies on his impeccable disciplinary record this season.

After further handshakes, photographs and exchanging of pennants, Crawley bid their Yorkshire counterparts a pleasant evening and set off home for picturesque West Sussex feeling justly proud of a job well done.

Thanks again to Crawley Town and Barry Stalin for sending this text through.